It’s 1:12AM, it’s below thirty degrees outside, and the chill is getting into my room. I’m trying to conserve electricity by not touching the thermostat for the heater.

End result? Insomnia, because the cold is keeping me awake. That, and a bunch of crap on my mind associated with Fantasia Arks’ next volume. I’d just started inking the first few pages when Battle Angel Alita Last Order vol. 10 had arrived in the mail. When I compared my own artwork to that of Kishirio, I felt pretty deflated – like I hadn’t made any progress in the past year. Comparing my art to his, though, is like comparing apples to pears.

Still, I have a pretty strong goal to be able to expand myself artistically. I feel like I’d only made a miniscule amount of progress, and it certainly puts a lot of doubt in my own work. It’s like when I look at my lineart, and I’m thinking: This isn’t good enough. I work more on it, and I still think: This still isn’t good enough.

It’s this overwhelming sense of doubt about my goals, my work thus far, and my skills. It’s the same feeling you get when you’re climbing a long flight of stairs to the top of a tall building. You feel like you’re not making any progress when you look down, and then up to the top – the goal looks so far away. You start thinking, “Do I have the capability to make it that far?”

Sometimes I don’t feel like have the capability, other times I feel that I do. One thing is for certain, though. Whenever I experience this overwhelming sense of doubt that makes me feel like an insect next to someone such as Yukito Kishiro and Stan Lee, I remind myself that when you’re in the moment of your greatest doubt, that’s when you must push on regardless. The greater the doubt, the stronger the need to press on.

I have a lot to learn from what I’ve finished with Volume Zero, and I don’t know how I’m going to tackle Fantasia Arks Volume 1. I’m going to give it my best shot no matter how long it takes – and that’s the most I can promise to you.

-NK Out.

I just got Battle Angel Alita Last Order: Angel Goes Nova in the mail, that’s volume 10. I’ve been a longtime reader of Yukito Kishiro’s works, and despite it taking Viz Comics more than a year to have this book translated and release since Volume 9, this does not disappoint!

If anything, it knocked the wind out of me with one of the biggest plot twists I’ve seen in years. This series is definitely a must for any manga aficionadio.

Just, wow. Even five hours after reading the book, I’m still getting that “knocked the wind out of you” feeling in my chest. What a strong plot twist that was…

-NK

Well, it looks like we might get a White Christmas for the first time in almost more than a decade here in South King County. It’s a couple weeks before that day and I’m looking at iced-over roads and three-inch snow accumulation with more in the forecast.

I had gone out on Sunday on my bike – it was a little tricky riding the crushed ice and snow on the sidewalks, but it was doable. Except when going uphill – the rear tire kept slipping, heh.

Thought I should give an update. Presently, Ka-Blam’s website is giving me a connection interrupted error on Firefox and Internet Explorer. I don’t know where their servers are, but I’m betting they’ve been impacted by the power outages in the NorthEast (either directly or indirectly) affecting internet service.

The heater’s keeping my room toasty warm, and I’m debating on going out into the cold hallway where my drawing board is, to do some work on the pages. Thing is, if I do that, I’m gonna get cold fast, but I have work to do. Hmmm….decisions, decisions…I think I’ll work on concept art today. Gonna try to flesh out the characters for Erwin Johnson and Ishon.

-NK